Sólo hay una manera en la que un británico de pura cepa puede responder al titular de "se contrata francotirados para eliminar las palomas de Kingston". Llenar la página de la noticia [1] de comentarios surrealistas. Algunos extractos:
What a lot of fuss over nothing. Everyone knows pigeons can't be killed,
they are immortal and immune to bullets. Where I come from we worship the
pigeon deity and never look them in the eye as this can turn a man to
stone.
I'm horrified at the very idea anyone might want to harm these gentle
creatures. I myself was raised by pigeons after being abandoned in
Trafalgar Square as a young nipper. Therefore I know how noble and
generous a species they really are. If anyone were to kill a pigeon in
this way, it would be as though they are slaughtering one of my own
family. It's murder, I say!
[...]
I know what you mean, reader. I was raised by yaks but I'm sure the
experience was similar. How about a council worker cull instead.
My elder sister was held captive for nine days by a flock of rock pigeons
on a small island near Malta in 1979 - it may have been Gozo but I'm not
too sure. (Sorry about that.) As you might gather she suffers from
nightmares and flashbacks but she has also developed a loathing of millet
seeds for some strange reason. She is in full support of the cull and, in
actual fact, she has already applied for the job and fully intends to
carry out her duties as soon as possible - whether she gets the job or
not. Be careful around town folks - she's not a good shot.